Motherhood: My Ten Commandments

Mother’s day eve, my husband came home with three small bouquets of flowers. One for me, one for my mother who had come round for dinner, and one for our helper – who cares for our children during the week when we are at work.

I think after eight years of adding ‘parent’ as another notch to who we are- we’ve worked out what makes us work as parents and as a family. We have a functional tribe; raising happy, curious children and despite their irritating penchant for Minecraft I think we’ll keep them. This by itself is enough reason to celebrate. With it being mother’s day I took stock of the past eight years of being part of this club and thought about what I want to impart; unconditional love and ” WOULD YOU please PUT YOUR BLOODY TOYS AWAY?!” aside.

So here are my 10 commandments for me (but really for my children.) It was a spontaneous activity on the elliptical (generally, me using an elliptical would also be considered a spontaneous activity). Some days  are better than others, but that’s kind of the point to this parenting lark.

Motherhood: My Ten Commandments

1. I refuse to be my child’s first bully.
2. I am not perfect but I am enough to get the job done, and do it well.
3. I will respect their time and be a good listener.
4. As a family we run our own race.
5. I am raising people, not just children. We will respect choices, but demand accountability.
6. Kindness, creativity, honesty, respect and perseverance – if I want my children to value these attributes, I will have to lead by example.
7. I will help them uncover their sense of self worth and learn to be kind to themselves.
8. I will always say sorry when I have been unfair.
9. I will empower their ideas, and invest in them – if they can achieve external buy-in.
10. I will continue to add, edit and work on this list, and for that I have to thank them. This is for me to keep myself in line for them, but really also for me. Because, that’s how it all works -you get as good as you give, just not how you expect it.

Mothers Day, 2013.

This photo came to mind tonight as mothers day comes to a close.We were walking around the lake and weren’t the only ones to notice this particular swan and her cygnet. There’s usually a weekend crowd that congregates with bread around the Fairview Park lake which surprisingly, estate management tend to turn a blind eye to. This particular weekend, there was also a huge net that was hoisted in the middle along the width of the lake for maintenance and quite a bit of rubbish was caught in it. The mother swan watched closely as the cygnet interacted with the bits and bobs in the water. Whenever she came across something potentially harmful like a cellophane bread bag or a leaf she would drag it out of the way, but only after the cygnet had a curious peck at it. She batted the more daring Koi out of the way, and snapped at any unsuspecting terrapins that came in for their share of the loot. She, or to be fair, it could have been a he – did this repeatedly as the the cygnet went for the same floating debris; fighting water, other animals and the gaggle of humans that kept attracting its young with more strips of bread. She watched, waited and asserted herself when she needed to and did it all from the backseat (so to speak.) Thanks for the lesson, mama swan.

To you, and to mama’s everywhere.

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